Don't Let Me Go
by ForbiddenTouch
Summary: One-shot after 3x10: The New Deal. The outcomes from the kiss are different for both Elena & Damon. Just how many times can Damon's heart be broken? Is it finally beyond repair? Find out!
1. Don't Let Me Go

**1. Don't Let Me Go**

Damon shut the water off and stepped out of the shower.

The smile from last night still hadn't dispersed. It wasn't just any old smile though. No, this smile reflected sheer happiness. Hope. The joyful optimism coming out of him was just immense. For the first time in what felt like a million lifetimes, Damon was once again happy. Content. Wrapping a towel around him, he walked into the bedroom, blissfully love struck as ever. It was as if today was the first day of his new life. A new beginning.

But it seemed Elena didn't quite share the same optimism. She didn't push her alarm clock to a sudden halt when it began ringing. Instead, she lay there, all tangled up in between her bed sheets, her eyes staring up at the ceiling, unseeingly. Her mind was in such an orbit of pandemonium that the drilling of the repetitive alarm didn't bug her like it normally did. She just lay there, staring upwards, trying to piece together her mind and her feelings. If that was even possible.

"God, Elena, shut that thing off," Jeremy called, walking into her room abruptly and slamming down his hand onto the clock. It took Elena a couple of moments to falter the fact that Jeremy was in her room, standing at the side of the bed, somewhat frustrated.

He just shot her an awkward look when she didn't respond.

"It's my last day here; you know, you could make an effort to _try_ making it bearable".

Elena didn't answer. She was lost in her thoughts to figure out an amiable answer.

"Hellooo, earth to Elena?" Jeremy waved back and forth his hand in front of Elena's face.

Dazed and disoriented, she adjusted her position, suddenly shocked at the fact that Jeremy stood right in front of her. Jeremy just shot her a _'maybe-she-really-is-crazy-after-all' _look.

"Wha-what?" she paused, trying to figure what had just happened. "Jeremy, what are you doing here?" her forehead scrunched as she tried to get a focus on everything around her.

Jeremy sighed, a faint smile on his face, "Nothing. Your alarm was bugging me. I'd have liked it if I didn't have to wake up at the crack of dawn on my last day".

"Oh, yeah… sorry about that".

He laughed once, then turned round and began to retrace his steps, "Are you feeling alright?" he asked, slight concern on his face.

"Erm, yeah… why?" she asked, not really wanting the answer.

"You just seem a little, off".

"No, I'll be fine" she said, finally giving a feint smile.

"Well, you'd better be awake for the leaving party. I want a proper send-off" he said, his eyes widening as a hint.

But Elena missed it. "What?" she asked blankly.

Jeremy sighed again, walking out of the room. "Never mind" he called back as he shut the door.

Elena fell back into her sheets and let her thoughts once again drown her. She thought what happened last night was a dream. A part of her wished it was a dream.

Damon on the other hand, last night was his dream come true. He'd waited forever to finally kiss Elena. And when the opportunity rose last night, he didn't stand back and watch it fade. He embraced it. And didn't regret a moment.

He didn't feel as if though he had forced himself upon her, no, he was gentle. As gentle as a man could be. As a man helplessly and bindingly in love with the most genuine beauty he had ever set eyes on.

Yes, perhaps people would see it as him being selfish. _Kissing his brothers girlfriend_, he could just hear Caroline and Bonnie say. But he didn't care what they thought though. He just cared about Elena and what _she_ thought. And how she didn't protest last night.

But then again, she didn't exactly kiss him back. _Or did she_?

All he did know, know deep inside his heart, down to the every last inch of his soul, was how real the kiss felt. And how perfect it was. Just the touch of his lips to Elena's instantly sent shivers through his spine. Damon – who any other day of the week couldn't feel a thing, even when on the verge of death. But no. It was a kiss of life. It was the one kiss. Their _first_ kiss if you didn't consider his near-death one.

And it was everything he'd imagined it to be and so much more. He didn't push too far; he wasn't covetous like his urges were. He didn't want to mess the whole moment up. Because then, _that_ would be selfish.

And he'd be anything but selfish when it came to Elena.

It was still a blur for Damon.

.

"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were avoiding me", Damon said, following Elena around the grill as she prepared the party for her brother's farewell.

"Damon, I'm not avoiding you" Elena said, not turning back.

He didn't believe her of course. "Then look at me". She didn't turn. "Damo-" she began in protest, still facing her back at him.

"Look at me Elena", he said, slightly sternly.

Finally, taking a deep breath, she turned around, forcing her most calm, serene face. One she'd hope wouldn't give anything away.

And he just stared back, delving into those big, chocolate brown eyes of hers.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong" she said shrugging and pushing past him. But he just caught the back of her hand, causing her to stop. She closed her eyes at his touch.

"It's about the kiss isn't it" he guessed. He knew it was.

Elena drew another breath, her eyes finally opening. "Yes" she breathed.

She turned around slowly and met his eyes. He feared what she would say, how she'd respond. But he didn't let her read his fears; he put on his usual, masochistic face.

"Well?" he asked, "Any thoughts?" he asked in mock humour trying not to be too serious about it. But Elena just looked down, as if fighting the urge to do something abrupt. After a moment, she looked up again, her chocolate eyes now fierce.

"It shouldn't have happened, Damon" she said through her teeth and once again pushed past him.

"What?" he asked. It was knee-jerk reaction. He didn't understand it. He shouldn't be questioning her feelings; after all, he knew this was the kind of reaction she'd give. But he still hadn't prepared himself for it.

"You shouldn't have kissed me Damon, okay. It was wrong and all messed up and … I was stupid enough to let you kiss me and it was a mistake and…" she began to mingle her words and feelings simultaneously that it was all just a flurry of words to Damon.

"Hey, hey hey" Damon shushed, walking towards her to calm her down. But as he came towards her, she turned around abruptly, pushing him away from her.

"No" she said sternly. "Don't".

She paused as Damon just stared at her, blankly.

"What are we doing Damon?" she asked, but she knew she wouldn't get an answer. "Why did you kiss me?"

"You already know why," he answered. And she did. Damon had illustrated his untainted love for her for the past year if not longer.

She just shook her head, as if she wouldn't allow herself to believe it.

"It felt like the right thing Elena." Damon began after a moment, trying to put across his motives. Trying to make her believe. "And you know what?" he asked, coming close enough to touch. He lightly pressed his hand on her cheek, looking into those endearing eyes forever and ever. He shook his head "I don't regret it. Not one bit", he told the truth. He put his feelings out here regardless of that fact that they could work against him. But, he just had to let her know how he felt.

She dropped her face instantly, pushing him away.

"C'mon Elena. You're really going to fight this?"

"I'm not fighting _anything_ Damon. You shouldn't have kissed me. It was a mistake-"

"Not for me, it wasn't" he interceded. He didn't come here to fight. He wasn't going to fight. Even if his intentions last night were to just kiss her, even if the feeling wasn't mutual, even if he promised himself not to expect anything in return from Elena, he just couldn't accept that now. He wanted her to say it. To say that it wasn't a mistake.

She looked at him, her eyes giving him a sincere look, "Well it was for me". Her voice was barely a whisper.

Damon laughed once under his breath, his eyes turning cold at the thought of his brother. "You love Stefan" he finally said, a trace of bitterness underlying his words. He looked upward, turning his back on her. "It's always going to be Stefan", he said to himself, "Ain't he the lucky one."

"Damon" Elena started, trying to find her words without succumbing to the pain that was now creeping up to her. But it wasn't the pain because she was hurting Damon yet again because of her love for her brother. No. It was because…. Because… Well, she just couldn't the answer so she finally said the words that she could find. "I'm sorry".

He turned to face her.

"I love you Elena" he protested. "I _love_ you. Doesn't that mean anything?" he wasn't going to give up right now. She didn't love Stefan, not after last night. He wouldn't accept that she loved Stefan, not after he hurt her, broke her and tore her to pieces. He was the one that was there to keep her whole. And he wasn't going to let her forget that.

"Doesn't the fact th-" he began but with ice in her heart, Elena interrupted him yet again. Her breathing slowed down intensely as she forced the words that would make Damon go away. The words that would be sure to get her message across. He only words she knew that could break someone.

"I. Don't. Love. You, Damon" she said, bitterness enveloped her whole as she froze in her steps and watched Damon suddenly turn morose.

"I've never loved you", she finally said, not breaking her eyes off his.

"You don't mean that" he finally said, his voice breaking at the end. But Elena kept strong, her voice didn't falter like his.

"Yes, I do", her voice nearly broke halfway as her throat closed up.

"Fine Elena. Look at me. Look at me in the eye and tell me that that kiss didn't mean something. That you didn't feel something. It wasn't just me Elena. I wasn't dreaming it. It happened. You might not want to admit it but it happened. And I felt it. And I know you felt it too. So tell me you didn't feel anything. Tell me there was nothing in that kiss that made you feel just tiny bit for me and I'll walk away. I'll walk away right now and won't bother you again. Say it Elena. Say it. Tell me you don't love me." He paused, trying to find her eyes but they were vacant as she stared past him.

"And I'll go" he whispered. A tear rolled down his eyes when the deafening silence gave him his answer. "Just say it and I'll go Elena. Because…", he paused "Because I can't do this anymore", he edged towards her as she backed away, still not meeting his eyes but he forced his eyes through his stinging eyes.

"I can't go on seeing you everyday and fighting the urge to kiss you. To feel your touch. To _be_ with you. To make you laugh and be there to dry your tired eyes. I can't go on knowing that we didn't give it a shot. That you'll _never_ be mine", his voice broke at the end.

"Never is a long time Elena, trust me, I should know". He walked up towards her, even when she tried to flinch away; he was persistent and gently cradled her face into his palms, "Just give us a try Elena. I'm begging you. Don't fight this. Don't fight _us_", he pleaded, forcing a smile.

The smile she had learned to love. The one that made her day, the one that made her smile. But not this time.

As she met his eyes, those bright, icy blue eyes, sadness and guilt evaded her.

"Just go, Damon" she finally whispered, beckoning her face from him and turning her back once more on him.

He didn't say anything. He didn't breathe. He couldn't move. He just stared at her. At the girl that stole his heart and even though she protested against it and tried to force it back to him, and even though she denied the fact that she didn't have it, that she didn't love it nor want it, he couldn't bring himself to believe it. He _wouldn't_ believe. It was why he left his heart with her.

Because deep down inside, even though Elena may not love him as she declared, he'd always love her. _Always_.

A tear rolled down Elena's cheek as Damon hesitated then turned on his heel. He was out of the room, like she'd wanted – within an instant. As he ran out, _ran out a fast as he could_, the cold, stubborn wintry air began to sting his eyes.

He didn't believe her of course. He didn't _want_ to believe her. But the words hurt him deep into his core.

And that was one of the reasons he fought against his humanity. Because whilst the pleasant times were worth it, the pain wasn't. There was only one reason her was in touch with his humanity and that reason was now absent. It stabbed him in his heart and stung around the edges and he hated it. Hated the pain more than he could even hate his brother at this moment in time.

And Elena wasn't disaffected by the pain either. As she spoke the words and comprehended them, she regretted them. Because they weren't true. Of course they weren't. She loved Damon but she just wasn't sure who she loved more. _Stefan or Damon?_

And that's what made her make the snap decision.

She didn't want to have to choose anymore. All her life she'd had to choose, to make a decision everyone felt was right, never on her own intentions. So was the decision she'd just made the right one?

Well, that was what consumed her now as her heart poured out onto the floor and she grasped her chest for air. Her sobs came out vehemently.

Slowly, she was losing everyone in her life. Her parents, Jenna. Her real parents John and Isobel, Jeremy, Stefan and now Damon. But she couldn't help but feel guilty for purposely pushing Damon away. For denying her feelings for him. Because there was something there. As much as she hated to admit it, ever since she nearly lost Damon after the sacrifice, her heart began to love him just that little bit more.

But she just couldn't voice her hearts motions. She didn't have it in her. She was still fighting for Stefan. To bring him back from the edge in the sheer hope that underneath all that anger, all that urge and all that bloodlust, the real Stefan that she loved, the one that felt and had a beating heart was still there.

She hoped this. But a part of her knew better. A part of her wished she'd had not pushed Damon away. Could she really fight these feelings off? Was it too late?

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><p><em>Thanks for reading! I'm thinking of turning this into a two-shot, what do you think? I don't really want to leave it there. Drop a reviewmessage and tell me your thoughts? :)_


	2. I Won't Let You Go

_Here it is guys :) the (possible) final chappie :) I worked really heard to get everything right in this chapter - to get all the emotions and feelings I wanted to portray well described and detailed, so let me know if i've got it right? (There's a chance I haven't)_

_And I just want to say a HUGEEEE thanks to all the readers and everyone who reviewed, favourited and subscribed to this story - you really made my day and encouraged me to continue the story! :) Hope you enjoy :)_

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><p><strong>2. I Won't Let You Go<strong>

Slamming the door behind him, Damon grabbed the bottle of Bourbon from the counter, not bothering to find a glass. His eyes were still moist, his insides burning. He went and stood by the fire place, twisting the cap off the bottle and drank forcibly. He kneeled down, staring at the emblazoned flames that flourished uncontrollably, a little like his emotions and pain within his heart. He took another long sip, not caring that this was his last bottle. On his knees, he paused for a moment, just staring unseeingly at the fiery red. He was motionless as his mind conceived an image of Elena. The heat radiating from the sparks began to filter into Damon's now-stinging eyes as the image of Elena began to slowly fade just like his reality with her was.

Those four words were forever etched into his memory. _Never_ was a very long time for Damon. He'd spent his last lifetime chasing after Katherine, thinking that he'd never love again, that she was it. But with Elena, it something more. _It was pure_. And that's why the pain stabbed him in his heart. Because it was knowing that he'd have to let her go. That she wasn't his, she didn't want him. He fought tears as these thoughts crossed his mind. What was the point in feeling, what was the point even trying, not shutting off your humanity totally when in the end, it was going to go to waste?

He couldn't fathom ever letting her go. He _couldn't_ let her go. He just_ couldn't_. He wouldn't live without her. Or bring himself to imagine a life without her. Life as it was wasn't worth living without her. It wasn't worth it if she would never be his. He couldn't accept the fact. It was true, once you'd tasted perfection and had everything you'd wished for in a lifetime, it was a struggle to let it go. And the world knew Elena was Damon's mirage of perfection. How could you opt for anything but that? _How_ could you let that go? But a part of him knew that he wouldn't completely let her go. He'd just disappear or something. Something to ease the heartache. Perhaps putting distance between her and himself would make it easier. Or at least, that's what he kept telling himself.

Staring at the deep red in the fire, all his thoughts gathered together, burning in his mind. His thoughts repeatedly echoed,_ 'Why was he still here? Why didn't he leave earlier? Was it in the sheer hope that she'd change her mind?'_. Well, if that was his answer - his reasoning, then there was no reason keeping him here now; there was nothing to stay for. Nothing to _live_ for, even.

And though part of him fought against this, furiously he stood and smashed his glass into the fire, watching callously as the facets sparked back, falling prey to the flames. He just stood there, motionless, lifeless, staring at the flames, making his mind up. He was going to leave.

-x-

Elena was upstairs, drying the remnants of her tears.

"Hey, are you okay?" Bonnie asked quietly as she stepped into the room. Elena turned her back on her instantly brushing away her stinging tears.

"Yeah" she answered, her voice shaky, "Yeah, I'm fine" she lied, trying to force a more content face as she turned to face Bonnie.

Bonnie didn't buy it. She needn't be a witch to know that something or someone had upset her. She stood in front of her, brushing her palm against Elena's shoulders in reassurance and instinctively asked, "Jeremy?".

Elena nodded, "Yeah", she lied, again, "It's just sinking in now I guess. That he's leaving, He's actually lea-" she broke off mid-sentence as her cries evoked from her chest. But it wasn't just because Jeremy was leaving. Damon too, was leaving.

"Hey, shhhh" Bonnie tried to reassure her, hugging her tightly. Elena's cries came more forcibly now as she flashbacked to earlier when Damon stopped by.

-x-

There was a light knock on the kitchen door. Instantly, she turned to, expecting to see Rick or someone else from the party she'd planned for Jeremy, checking up on her. But it wasn't Rick. It was _Damon_, standing in the door frame, mashing his lips in a tight line.

"What are you doing here Damon?" Elena asked, not in the mood.

"I got an invite" he said, his lips twisting at the corner to reveal his seductive smile. But it didn't meet his eyes.

Elena just turned around, aiming to walk out of the opposite door; she didn't want to share Damon's company. But before she knew it, a hand grabbed hers and within a moment, she felt the air around her swivel around impulsively. As she opened her eyes and gasped, she was in her room, her head on Damon's torso. As the shock dispersed, she half-jumped away from him, backing towards her window.

"What are you doing? Why did you just do that?" she demanded furiously.

Elena only now realised that Damon was blocking he door, her only way of escape and suddenly she felt stuck.

Damon threw his hands out in the air, "Would you have heard what I wanted to say otherwise?" his icy eyes didn't let go of Elena's, "Didn't think so" he said, walking towards her.

"Damon, I've said what I needed to say, you should go", she tried to persuade but Damon wasn't having any of it.

"So that's it", he asked, his tone harsher than he intended it to be. "You don't love me and I'm supposed to just _accept_ that?", his eyes widened and for the first time, Elena saw another side to him. It wasn't an angry or violent side yet she was still afraid of this part of him. Because he was hurt. He was sensitive. And it scared her seeing him almost vulnerable.

Elena's face was plastered in fear and as soon as Damon realised this, he suddenly felt reluctant; he'd sworn he'd never be like this with her, he'd be calm. But he couldn't stand pretending that he was okay, that he wasn't hurt. He could no longer pretend that he didn't love her; the whole universe knew that.

"I don't believe it Elena. I don't believe you".

Elena just dropped her head, her eyes unseeing at the floor. Yet, this simple gesture answered Damon's assumptions.

"You dragged me out of a dark place Elena. Remember how you saved me?" his tone was quieter, with deeper meaning within. Elena looked up, "From all the wrongs, from feeding recklessly, from shutting off my humanity completely. _You're_ the reason I've still got it, Elena. _You_. There's something here for us, I can _feel_ it." He gathered her hands and even though she tried hard to resist their capture, he stopped her, almost forcing her to look at him, to listen to him and to believe the words he spoke.

"Just take a little time to feel it Elena, to feel _our_ love. It's there." He paused, searching for something, a spark of hope in her eyes. "Just feel it before it's too late. Please?" he begged , but she wasn't saying anything. "You don't have to be alone, you don't have to wait for my brother to change because there's no guarantee that he _will_ change, Elena". He paused, looking at her moist chocolate brown eyes. "Let _me_ be your guarantee".

A lump grew in Elena's throat knowing that what she was hearing was the truth. She couldn't keep on hoping that Stefan would come back to her. She couldn't go on hoping, it wasn't a life. She dropped her hands from his and he didn't re=capture them, he just stared into those big, brave eyes of hers.

"Just trust me. Open up your heart to me, I won't break it. I'll be here always, forever, holding on, you can trust me", he tried to reassure her. But there was no use.

Elena just stood, looking at her hands, shaking her head as she tried to find the words to say. "I can't do this Damon" she half-whispered. Forcing her eyes away from his angelic eyes, she walked past him to the door, her eyes stinging. Damon didn't respond, didn't try to stop her. Instead, the sound thudding of his heart beat in his head, getting louder every step she took. The pain in his chest now excavated it's claws around his heart, making it hard for him to breath. He stared straight ahead, outside her window where the clouds were gathering in the twilight sky. Bitter

"I'm leaving, Elena", his voice didn't falter. He said it with no hurt, no emotion.

Elena froze at the door. She turned back slowly, her face unrecognisable.

"Today", he finished, not turning back,

No one spoke for a moment. The silence was deafening.

"Wha-Why", Elena's voice was barely a whisper, she was fighting back the lump in her throat.

He shrugged, turning to meet her eyes, "It's not like there's anything to stay for," he said, unknowing how harsh his tone was. Elena flinched back instantly and though he saw it, he fought against responding. He fought against his humanity.

"Damon, you don't need to leave. You can't" she pleaded, edging forward.

"Why Elena? Exactly what is there here for me to stay?" he said, unbreaking his cold, menacing eyes off her. He couldn't understand why she wanted him to stay, she didn't love him. _Why did she expect him to stay when she couldn't even fight against her heart and learn to love him?_ She didn't reply and he just started towards her, aiming for the stairs. He didn't want to be here any longer, it just made it hard for him.

"Wait… what about Stefan?" she asked, stopping him as he walked past her.

He froze immediately just behind her choking back a laugh, but his facial expression was grave. "You love him Elena," he directed his icy, bittersweet eyes to her, "I'm sure you can bring him around again." His words were sour as he swallowed his pain. Regret overshadowed him because eh knew that what he was saying – and preparing to do – would hurt her. But the was past all that. He wa spast feeling.

"Damon, please…" she began to plead, but he just turned his back on her regrettably. She hesitated back for a moment before approaching him again and forcing him to face her by pulling him round.

"Damon, please, we don't need to be like this. You don't need to do this". She was right, surely they could fix this. They could bounce back right?

Not for Damon. He was burnt.

He'd given his heart to a girl that didn't want it, that didn't want him even though he wanted her so much. And he couldn't deal with the pain anymore.

He looked back.

"I'd be with you in a heartbeat if you'd let me but" he paused, "I can't make you love me Elena. So as much as I don't want to, I have to let you go", it was as if he'd shut off his feeling completely the way he said the words, with upmost ice in them.

He saw the pain he inflicted in her eyes and didn't flinch. He fought against the sparks of guilt because if he didn't, he'd have to go on living each day running out of air to breathe. And his only source of air was Elena. And she didn't want him, so the faster and farther he got away from her, the better. The more time he'd have time to heal.

"Goodbye." he said, his voice barely a whisper.

Elena took a step forward "Damon-ple" before she could finish, a flash of air swipped infront of her and her bedroom door closed. Damon was gone.

And then her tears didn't stop streaming.

-x-

"It's okay. It's all going to be okay" Bonnie's voice brought Elena back to the harsh, painful present, trying to calm her down but Elena knew better. Trying to get a grip on her sobs, she looked up to see Jeremy standing by the door. Immediately, she repositioned herself, wiping her tears away from her eyes. She forced a smile.

"Elena, are you okay" he asked, concerned.

The last thing Elena wanted was to lose her brother but she knew deep inside that, this was the best thing to do. The best way to protect him. Even though Bonnie thought Elena was being selfish, it was the _only_ thing she could do, to prevent losing someone else. Because 'til today she'd lost nearly everyone in such little time. Her parents, Jenna, John, Jeremy, Stefan. _And now Damon. _And it was all her fault. It was selfless of her for wanting to protect her brother.

Elena forced a smile, "Yeah" she said, her voice a little disjointed and half-ran towards Jeremy, engulfing him in a hug.

"Whoah" he exclaimed, wrapping his hands around her, trying to lighten the mood in mock. Elena's tears continued streaming as she closed her eyes, not knowing when she'd next hug her brother like this, _if_ she'd ever have a moment like this again.

"Elena, I'm only going away for a few weeks, I'll be back before you know it" he said, trying to reassure her but in his eyes was sorrow too, Bonnie could see it.

"I know" Elena tried. After a few moments she let go of him, pulling him in front of her, "Just promise me something" she asked, turning a little serious.

Jeremy shrugged, looking a little worried but Bonnie gave him an encouraging smile.

"Promise me that you won't forget me. And be safe okay?" she asked. After a moment, Jeremy just laughed.

"Jeez, a whiny big sister, always telling me what to do, where to go, how to behave. How could I forget?" he laughed and Elena did her best to laugh to.

"You just promise me something Elena" he looked at her, "_Please_, try not to attract anymore supernatural beings – I think this town has enough", Elena shook her head, laughing, "And please, try not to get yourself killed. Last thing I want is to lose you too", his tone was solemn and Elena just stared at her brother, who'd grown up in such little time without her knowing, almost appearing as her father.

"Mind you, if you do get killed, that means no more nagging" he joked as did Bonnie and Elena just scowled, playfully punching his shoulder. Just then, Alaric came up behind Jeremy and stood at the doorway, giving Elena a gentle smile.

All three of them echoed each others laughs one final time as Elena gave Jeremy another hug. Alaric stood silently at the door, patiently for the goodbye's to draw to a close. Knowing this, knew that it was time. She let him go and turned to see as he hugged Bonnie once more.

"Ready to go?" Alaric asked. Elena tried her best to hold herself together.

"Yeah" Jeremy answered, giving a long lustful glance at Bonnie who smiled cheerfully at him. But as soon as his back turned on her, sadness surpassed her too. Elena went and gave her a cuddle as they followed them down the stairs.

Elena waved goodbye to her brother as she stood, holding her fragile self together on the front porch. The dark sky above had a grey lining, almost symbolising the somewhat grey occasion. Tears escaped her cheeks vehemently as the car doors shut and the engine started. As Alaric's car turned on her street and suddenly vanished, she let out a gasp, as if unable to breathe. She suddenly felt cold.

"Hey Elena, it's going to be okay" Bonnie said, clutching Elena. But it wasn't because of her brother's departure that made her clutch her heart. _It was Damon._

It was as if he mind just clicked, giving her all the answers she needed. Presenting her a way of salvaging at least one thing she'd thought she'd lost. Within an instant, her mind was made up, she knew what she had to do. And there was no time to waste.

"No, Bonnie, I… I have to go do something" she said, looking past Bonnie and started for the house.

"What?" Bonnie said in confusion, "what do you need to -" before Bonnie could finish her sentence, Elena was running into the hallway, grabbed her car keys from the midst of the party decorations on the table and ran back out, past Bonnie who stood bewildered.

"Just listen to me okay Bonnie. I need to go do something, I won't be long, just…" the thunder crackled as Elena half-ran to the car in the light rain that escaped with the thunder. She opened the car door and gave her best friend a meaningful look, calling out, "just stay here please. I'll explain everything later" she said before slamming the car door and starting her engine simultaneously. She shot one last consequential glance at Bonnie who still stood, dazed and sped off.

She flew down the wet highway, praying that she wasn't too late. Praying that he wasn't too far gone. That her words didn't affect him so much as to really push him away. The heavy clouds above started to let out heavier droplets as she pressed her foot down further. Tears fled from her eyes continuously at the faint thought that maybe he'd already gone. But as soon as the thought appeared, Elena drove faster, adamant to not lose him, not yet. The thunder crackled above as she drove into the boarding house porch. The rain hadn't eased as she parked up. Damon's car was still there. In the sheer hope that he was still here, Elena ran out into the pouring rain, towards the house. Running up towards the front door, she pulled the handle but with no result. _The front door was locked_. Shock and surprise bewildered here. It wasn't normally locked. Stefan and Damon always left it unlocked. _But not today_. She pulled again and as she did, she called out his name. But there was no reply, not that she expected one. Looking back at the fleeting rain and the crackles of thunder, she tried once more. But the door wouldn't budge.

She ran towards the side of the house, running up against the windows as the heavy rain drenched her. She couldn't see anything or anyone in there. She ran to the other side of the house, to the window that onlooked the living room; the fireplace was enlightened with red and orange flames and below the fireplace she saw remnants of glass, scattered. From the corner of her eyes, she spotted Damon's car keys on the table, _but no Damon_. She swept the raindrops from her face as she raced back to her car and grabbed her phone. Out in the rain, she dialled his number and pressed the phone to her ear against the thundering rain. There was no answer.

She tried again but still, there was no answer. Gasping for air, she ran back to the house trying the doorbell again, banging and thrusting her hands at the door. After a few moments, she heard his phone ring inside. It was hard to notice the ringing first with the pounding rain and thunderclaps but eventually, hope instilled her. _Maybe he was home, just avoiding her_? She continued calling out his name.

She ran back to the window, furrowing her eyes through the glass, she couldn't see anyone. By the eleventh ring, she was about to give up. Until the corner of her eye noticed a shadow.

It was at the corner of the room, near the encroaching staircase. Fighting through the raindrops, she slammed her hands on the window, yelling out his name. But there was no answer.

"Damon, I know you're in there, please, just open the door. Damon, please". But momentously, the figure disappeared and once again, Elena was calling out no one. She glanced around her breathless, unsure what to do now. Tears escaped her eyes as her calling became cries which turned in to heartfelt sobs. The rain didn't ease as her heartbreak caught up with her. She didn't know what to do, where to look for him. How to find him.

She didn't know if she was just imagining the figure inside but a part of her knew that he was already gone. That her efforts were pointless. And it was knowing this that her heart crumbled apart once again, beyond repairable.

She walked, lifeless, away from the house, into the hammering rain and as the lightening struck above her, she fell to her knees, her eyes still crying out. Her sobs came louder as she beckoned out his name into the sky. She clutched onto her chest as images of the moments she spent with him flashed behind her eyes like a slideshow on play. The moment's she'd spent with him, she regretted not cherishing them. She'd be lost without him. How would she stay strong, to fight off Klaus and Stefan without him by her side?

Regret. Guilt. And utmost love. That's what she felt in the midst of the pouring storm. And what she wanted, _wanted more than anything right now_, wasn't Stefan, wasn't her brother, but _Damon_. To hold him tight and feel his warmth; it was the only thing that could erase her pain and stop the tears. Yet, hardest part of it all was knowing that all this time, everything they were – friends, heroes, even lovers - are all a thing of the past, they were now coming to a sudden end.

To think she wouldn't see those beautiful azure eyes again made it almost impossible to not let the river continue streaming down her cheeks. The fact that she'd not even said goodbye continued to disassemble her heart further. She'd realised that what she was feeling now, the hollow emptiness within her that consumed her, was how it'd felt when you lost something – _someone_ – you could never replace. For Damon, nothing was worse that loving someone so much but went to waste. Elena only realised now through the pain that she felt that she was far too in love to let him go. Even though it was too late, she _couldn't_ let him go, just like he couldn't let her go. And it would be the death of her. Damon would going to hold onto their kiss, without feeling guilty. He'd hold onto their shared moments. After all, it's all that would keep him going. And if he stayed, all those cherished moments, the good times would eventually disperse into nothing because seeing Elena would constantly remind him of what could have been. For Damon, it was better to let go of something than to hold onto nothing.

Tears continued streaming down her face when she realised that she'd lost something she could never replace. _Never_ – the word that broke two hearts in one night.

Elena let out a pained cry into the night sky and heard her echo as she wrapped her sore hands around her, trying to keep herself from falling apart. In the middle of her cries, she managed to whisper "I'm so sorry" breathlessly to the emptiness surrounding her. The thunder clashed again as she clutched her sore hands and succumbed into the ground. Her cries didn't stop. She felt numb. She'd lost him, once and for all.

"Elena?" a gentle voice asked through the thundering storm.

As soon as she heard the voice amidst the clashing clouds, she stopped breathing. She opened her eyes slowly, afraid that it was just her imagination, giving her what she wanted. And as she scanned before her, she realised it was. There was nothing but the heavy, grey downfall in front of her. She gasped out, her cries starting again as her face marvelled into her palms.

"Elena," the voice rendered again, but this time closer, more urgent. It was coming from behind. Apprehensively, she stood up, her hands still enveloped around her waist. Closing her eyes, she turned around, fearing that there'd be nothing but nothing once she opened her eyes.

"Open your eyes", he said.

And she did.

And another rainstorm started in her eyes. She didn't know if it was real. She wasn't sure if he was really there.

"Damon", she whispered, looking at the tall dark figure that no imagination could perfectly picture. As she stared at the blindingly beautiful eyes, Damon's lips twisted at the corners to reveal the smile Elena had come to love.

And that's all it took. Before time could tick, before the rain could purposefully hit the ground, before Damon could blink, she was running to him. With every step she took, she felt her heart heal and her tears weren't stinging anymore. Before she could fully reach him, he met her halfway. And before either of them could share another word, Elena pressed her lips onto his, returning the kiss she owed him.

It was sheer perfection.

The pounding thunderous rain above couldn't falter or break their hold on eachother. Damon wrapped his arms protectively around her, holding her firmly against his chest, afraid he'd lose her if he didn't. He kissed her back passionately, ensuring that he felt it, ensuring every nerve in his body was feeling. He kissed her back as fervently and as fondly as she kissed him. Her arms enveloped around his neck, as if in her capture.

And in that moment, she knew it. She'd never let him go again. She wanted to be here, right now and she wanted to be his forever. She loved him. _Truly and immensely_ loved him.

They parted slightly as Damon gently pulled her face up to his and looked into those deep brown, moist eyes. He captured a teardrop on her cheek and brushed it away. He opened his mouth to speak but Elena beat him to it.

"I love you, Damon" she finally admitted, capturing the moment in it's entirety.

And she took Damon's breath away. The glimmer in his eyes returned as it did in Elena's eyes and he smiled back at her, tenderly taking her face into his palm.

"You don't know hwo long i've waited to hear that".

"I'm so so-", Elena began to apologise but she placed a finger on her lips.

"Shhh, you don't need to say anything," he whispered. He could hardly speak but he understood what she was trying to say.

He placed his lips onto hers again and this time, they shared short sweet kisses.

"You can't leave. I won't let you" Elena managed to spurt out in the middle of a kiss.

Damon laughed, still holding onto her tight.

He looked deep into her eyes, "I love you Elena. I'm not going anywhere." he declared, his eyes were once more fierce. He meant the words he said. Elena smiled, her eyes up once more. "I'm never going to leave you", he whispered, brushing away the streaks on her cheek.

"Never's a long time," she whispered back.

He shook his head, looking into her eyes and pushing a wet stray strand of hair away from her face, he smiled once more, "It's not long enough." he whispered back into her ear and met her lips once more.

There, standing in the middle of a rainstorm in the arms of one another, they both knew where they hearts lay; they were in each others captivity. And Elena finally knew where she belonged. She loved Damon and all this time denying her feelings for him only made the love she had for him, stronger. For the first time in her life, something went right in Elena's life and for Damon, he got a second chance. It was perfection. _They_ were perfection. And nothing could change that. _No one_ could change that.

They parted briefly and exchanged a longing glance at each other like long lost lovers in-between the rain which still hadn't given up. "I need to get you inside", Damon said after a moment, realising that Elena was shivering in his hold. Elena just smiled, burying her head into his torso as she let him lead her up to the house. He kissed the top of her head profoundly. It was sweet.

Just as he opened the door, he kissed her once more, a little like the first time. They were in the doorway, in the middle of their kiss, when they were distracted...

"Elena",

The voice that they both next heard made them part abruptly. Glancing at each other for a split-second, they both looked back into the rain. Elena gasped at the figure before them. But it only made Damon's clutch on Elena stronger, as if he wasn't going to let her go, as if he'd take a bullet for her right there and then.

It was Stefan. He'd been standing in the rain the whole time. His hands were in his pockets, his face dripping. Shock and surprisement overtook Elena. As Elena looked back at him, she realised that something was different about him. The way he stood gracefully. He had the spark in his eyes again. They were slightly red and moist as if… as if he'd been crying? Yet, they were somewhat dazzling. They had life in them again. Resurrected. Like they were before Klaus had gotten to him. Before the blood frenzy turned him into something Elena learned to detest. It was as if he'd changed. As if he'd turned back into the Stefan she'd fell in love with.

The three of them just stood there, silent, in the downpour. Elena's heart began to pound faster.

"Stefan", she acknowledged, awestruck.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you so much for taking the time out to read this :) <em>_Leave a review? I'd love to know what you thought!_


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